Coivd Metamorphoses #11 – Monster Theory

I was trying to avoid writing about the president, a preening, ignorant narcissist who craves attention the way manicured lawns crave fertilizer. I’m sick of hearing about him. I’m sick of talking about him. I’m sick of thinking about him. This reality show sucks, and I wish I could change the channel.

But what with the future unwritten, and everything up in the air at the moment, who knows what documents will survive for historians to sift through generations from now–assuming a “from now” happens. So I want to jot down here, for the historical record, that Donald Trump, the current president of the USA (god bless its feeble beating heart), has handled the crisis with a stunning amount of denial and ineptitude, even by his low, loathsome standards.

It’s just been one mistake after another. And even more lies. And if you look at what he’s actually done, he hasn’t done anything. His fake-optimist bullshit has already resulted in one death. After he announced the name of a medicine at a press conference, on three different occasions, that could treat Coronavirus (it can’t), a man in Phoenix got some, took it, and died. The man’s wife, who, along with her dead husband, was a Trump supporter (may still be for all the fuck I know), had this advice for the country: “Oh my God. Don’t take anything. Don’t believe anything. Don’t believe anything that the President says.”

When the Coronavirus first arrived on these shores, the best thing Donald Trump could have done for America is to pick up a loaded gun, put it in his mouth, and pull the goddamn trigger.

As of this morning, a small majority of my fellow Americans believe the President is doing a good job of handling the crisis. This week he has been on TV saying we need to end social distancing (this would result in many, many more deaths), withholding federal aid to California, New York, and Washington because the governors aren’t nice enough to him (which will result in many, many more deaths), refusing to invoke the Defense Production Act, which would force manufacturers to start making needed medical supplies (more deaths–as of today, patients in New York are having to share their ventilators), and continuing to lie.

The situation has gotten so bad that people are beginning to float theories that, while horrifying, make more sense than the President’s actions.

One theory suggests Trump is punishing blue states, and the people who live there, for not being nice enough to him. The President himself has even implied this on several occasions. But if the goal is to uh, shift the political landscape in his favor, all the talk about eliminating social-distancing–from both the White House and conservative media–would knock off more republicans than democrats. Although it’s entirely possible he just hasn’t thought it all the way through.

Another theory suggests that the white supremacists in the White Supremacist White House see deaths from the virus as a kind of passive eugenics, i.e the eventual outcome of all this will be a stronger race after the “weak people” die off. This one is also horrifying, and also plausible. It also explains how you bizarrely never see any White House people practicing social-distancing. They believe the virus will kill the weak, and allow the strong to survive. Trump’s father taught him that the family’s success was due to their superior genes. If you’ve never heard of pseudo-scientist John Tanton, take advantage of any free time you have. He was a hell of a person–emphasis on the hell. Trump seems to have been a big fan.

You also have Jesus Supermacists in the White House who believe the virus has been sent from God as a signal of the end times, i.e. the return of Jesus, the rapture, etc. Which in this perverted corner of the Christianity playroom, is considered a good thing, something to root for the way you or I might root for, say, the return of professional sports.

Both of these ideas–an enthusiasm for passive eugenics and an enthusiasm for passive “yes Jesus!” explain the Trump administration’s behavior better than his own actions. He he has no explanation; he has no plan. Trump has taken the British saying “Never Complain, Never Explain” and turned it into “Always Complain, Never Explain.”

It’s hard to believe the President is okay with the death of a couple million Americans, and yet every time he speaks, every time he doesn’t do anything to help the situation, it’s hard not to conclude that he must be fine with all of it. If he wanted to see people needlessly die, and fields filled with unattended funerals, all he would have to do is exactly what he’s doing right now.

Which would make him a monster. Feel free to sing along.


About ScottCreney

Scott Creney lives in Athens, Georgia. He is the author of "Dear Al-Qaeda: Letters to the World’s Most Notorious Terror Organiztion".
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