Covid Metamorphoses #30 – Facts

In the past two months, I have read–and this is just from reputable sources:

The virus was able to survive in the air for six hours and on surfaces for two weeks. Now we aren’t sure if it can survive on surfaces at all. You needed to wipe down your groceries, just to be safe.  Now you don’t need to wipe down your groceries, unless you want to be extra-safe. Let’s just say, it can’t hurt. Not only does the virus cause severe respiratory problems, it can also cause blood clots, kidney failures, weird things to happen to your toes, and possible limb amputation. Today, I read that it can cause young adults to have a stroke. It used to only affect the elderly and those in high-risk groups like asthma, now it can affect anyone. Did you hear about the triathlete? He was only 30! Oh, and now asthma probably isn’t as big a deal as they first thought. So I guess it’s better to have asthma than to be a triathlete.

At first we were told that a mask wouldn’t protect you, then we were told that it was absolutely necessary. Last night I read about a study conducted at a university that said putting a strip of nylon behind your mask could turn your makeshift bandanna into a super-germ-deflector, almost on-par with a N-95. Once you’ve had the disease, you will be immune, unless you aren’t. As the virus mutates, it should become less potent, unless it doesn’t. Nobody knows anything for sure. Some days, it can feel like nobody knows anything at all, and the most foolish thing you can do is believe you know anything.

There’s a verse in the Bible about how one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. But then the Bible also says that bird-blood is the best disinfectant to rid your house of the plague–so I guess we can thankful that US christians don’t read their bible, or we’d have people murdering birds all around us and selling the blood on street corners and in church parking lots.

When the only sensible response is skepticism, of everything, especially someone else’s certainty, then it’s impossible to believe anything. No wonder people want to just open everything back up.

Even the president, who less than a week ago was calling on the citizens of locked-down states to “liberate” themselves, said last night that we thought Georgia’s governor (my governor! my president!) was doing the wrong thing by opening the state back up, that he was acting “too soon.” Brian Kemp, a man so politically inept that if you asked him to draw a picture of his own dick, he would probably show himself tripping over it, had somehow managed to draw the president’s disapproval while doing the exact thing he thought would impress the president.

Of course, even the president’s statement could have been a disingenuous attempt to cover his own ass when the body count increased. But then, nothing is anything, and everything is something, and nobody truly knows anything except for the cold calculus  “can’t catch it if you don’t touch it.”

If everything I’ve heard about the C-virus is true, then it is simultaneously the most murderous virus that has ever evolved into our airstreams and 97% of us would survive it if we caught it.

The weather is rainy, and unusually cold for this time of year in northern Georgia. People can argue about anything, but you can’t argue with a cold rain. All you can do is put on a thick coat and hope it doesn’t mess you up too badly.

Facts are useless in emergencies

Facts are lazy and facts are late
Facts all come with points of view
Facts don’t do what I want them to
Facts just twist the truth around
Facts are living turned inside out
Facts are getting the best of them
Facts are nothing on the face of things
Facts don’t stain the furniture
Facts go out and slam the door
Facts are written all over your face
Facts continue to change their shape
I’m still waiting…I’m still waiting…I’m still waiting…

About ScottCreney

Scott Creney lives in Athens, Georgia. He is the author of "Dear Al-Qaeda: Letters to the World’s Most Notorious Terror Organiztion".
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